Twas the night before
Christmas at the AoVD,
Not a writer was stirring, ...well, except for me.
The computer was humming and the coffee was hot,
It's just too darn bad that my brain was not.
My friends were nestled all
snug in their beds,
While visions of Riddick danced in their heads.
Now hubby is snoring and I'm still here,
Hell, maybe this story would be better with beer
So I'm sitting here right?
And out of the blue...
I'm tapped on the shoulder by you'll never guess who!
Now it wasn't a muse to my utter dismay,
It was Sam standing there in her cute pink pj's.
The moon looked real bored
and moved in the sky,
As if to remind me that time was passing me by.
A quick kiss goodnight and Sam was tucked in,
I went back to my chair and I started again.
My task was real simple,
something funny you know?
Add one Christmas theme and the words should flow.
But the muses were fickle, they hid from me you see,
But what can you expect at a quarter to three?
I've got Riddick and Chris
and Taylor and Dom,
I've got Carpy and Rick, heck I've even got Sean!
But a plot? Oh hell no! That flew out the window...
The best I can do is write about them playing Nintendo.
But I think and I mutter
and the keys start to tap,
Oh great god in heaven I've turned into a sap!
Chris has found love and Riddick's a dad?
Now why did I write all this stuff that's so sad?
My humor has saved me I
think yet again,
As an idea approaches and I can't help but grin!
Funny is my style as you all well know,
So bring on the parodies, get on with the show!
The words come on faster
and I increase my speed,
Lord help me they'll kill me for this very evil deed!
But the idea of Riddick dressed as Santa is funny,
Just a hat, belt and boots. Oh man is that yummy!
Now Dom's sneaking in, with
a sack in his arms,
And Chris looks all pouty, who can resist those charms?
Of course, they've both broken the law more times than I care to mention,
But thank god for artistic license, it's kept them out of San Quentin.
As they busy themselves
decorating the tree,
I'm reminded of their friends, you know the ones we never see?
Poor Rick, Sean and Taylor, these dears need to get out.
C'mon movie execs! How loud do we have to shout??
Carpy hangs the mistletoe,
what a sweetie he makes,
I just wish this charrie got a few more good breaks.
So I write him in briefly, just a quick nod.
It's the least I could do for that fantastic bod.
As my elves busy
themselves, their jobs finally clear,
I continue my writing, the end's almost near.
The chat room is empty, and the sun starts to rise,
As I blink and I yawn and I rub at my eyes.
"It's done! It's
finished! By all gods Praise Be!"
So what if I've got shivs and stocks hanging from my tree?
And here the tale ends, I'm sorry to say.
But hey, if I sleep, I can write another day!