Changing Times

by CCL

This story was written as part of the AoVD Lyric Wheel Project. The theme for the wheel was"The Holiday Season." Lyrics were provided by Ardath Rekha.

Summary: An idea for the Jack/Riddick pairing I haven't seen nearly enough. It's my world and I can do what I want with them.

Thanks and Dedications: To that someone special who always knew when to call me when I was feeling blue and who encouraged me to be whatever I wanted. You are loved and you are missed. Rest high, angel and watch over us all.

Jack sat silent in front of the window in her room. Her hair, still damp from her shower, clung to the back of her neck in dark brown waves. Feeling a chill in the air, she pulled her arms tighter around her body and rocked against the shiver that traveled down her spine. Five years. Five years he had managed to avoid the past and stay with her. And now it was gone. He was gone.

"Nothing you can do about it now, Jack," she muttered to herself.

She turned away from the window and went to curl up on her bed. She didn't realize that missing someone could physically hurt so badly. She felt as if her body were incomplete. A constant ache deep within her screamed for this new emptiness to be filled. And if she tried to pin point exactly where that void was located, she'd find it nestled between her breasts where her heart was supposed to be.

New Mecca had been cool when they'd left Imam, finally. Not unlike the winters of earth. Riddick had promised Imam that he'd take care of her. He had promised to raise her and teach her everything he could. He had promised to show her all the worlds they could find. He had made good on that promise.

Time ticked by unchecked. Jack didn't know how long she spent crying or even when she had started but her eyes burned from the excess salt that now lay dried around the edges. Groaning in protest, she pulled herself up to a sitting position and checked the chrono.

"One hour till my shift starts. Great."

She stumbled her way to the closet and grabbed mindlessly for the uniform she'd find there. Limbs acted on instinct as she stepped into the jumpsuit and pulled the material up around her body. She didn't bother to remove the other clothing she wore, knowing the added insulation would probably help more than hurt her. And finally the snaps were closed, the zipper zipped and the laces on her new boots were tied in a sturdy fashion. Through it all her eyes roamed with her mind, drifting over things, mementos, objects, junk that she'd collected in those years. Each one a moment, a memory that she had shared with him.

She settled down in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection, unseeing. Caught up in memories of herself much younger. She had gotten a black eye during a fight somewhere and had hidden in her room for hours, afraid of what he would say when he saw her.

"You gotta learn to stand up for yourself, Jack, cause I won't always be here."

The voice echoed in her head and she turned quickly, hoping to catch the phantom that had spoken the words. She searched and prayed that they had been real in that moment, and not just another memory. But hope was chased by disappointment when she found the room still empty. Empty like her. Lost and drifting in a riptide of emotion.

Her brow furrowed and creased as she cursed her heart for bleeding so easily. And then her lips quirked in a half smile as she let the memory of that black eye return.

Brown eyes filled with tears had met silver ones, expecting admonishment for being foolish and finding only amusement on his face.

"Does the other guy look worse?" he had said.

Her confusion had rendered her speechless and he had laughed.

"The other guy, Jack. Does he look worse than you?"

She had smiled at him when his teasing struck a cord. "Yeah. A lot worse."

"Then we'll start with the defense and work our way to the offensive moves, okay?"

The reflection in the mirror smiled back at her now. The look of happiness a replica of the one she had worn that day when instead of saying she'd have to go back to Imam, he had started teaching her like he had said he would. Teaching her to be strong. Teaching her how to live and survive.

"Without him. He was teaching me how to survive without him."

Her voice rasped and grated the words. Her throat was dry and thick from lack of use. Or maybe it was the sadness that made her speech so heavy and quiet. She didn't know. And to be honest, she didn't care. She wanted him back. She wanted him here. She wanted Riddick back.

Long fingers curled around the hairbrush and began a soothing and steady rhythm of strokes through her hair, pulling at the snarls that had woven themselves together while she had cried. Harder and faster she pulled the bristles through the living silk, craving the pain that traveled along her nerves in her scalp when she hit a particularly large tangle. The rhythm was nearly brutal in its intensity before she finally ceased her attack on herself and lashed out, throwing the brush across the room and screaming.

"DAMN YOU RIDDICK!"

Jack dropped her head into hands, visibly shaking with renewed sobs of heartbreak. The anguish in her soul cried again, scanning her memories for ones of a better time, a better moment than this painful one now.

All her mind could wrap around were the last few words they had spoken. So precious and laced with foreboding. Why hadn't she seen it? Hindsight is 20/20 they say. Jack could testify to the validity of that statement now. His worry had aged his features. His dread at what he knew was coming, she guessed. The unavoidable. The unattainable. No man can stay in one place too long. Especially a man like him. Five wonderful years of laughter, teasing, fights, and harsh words. Whispered pleas for forgiveness and soft reassurances of caring were shared on a regular basis. And now there was nothing. Nothing but those final words.

"When are you gonna love you as much as I do, Jack? Why do you always have to be so hard on yourself? You're not a kid anymore. Have a little faith. I do. I couldn't be more proud of you if you really were my kid. You know that. Just like you know that you can't put this decision off anymore."

She had stared at her feet until her eyes blurred the vision. Then she had crawled in his lap and let him soothe her raw nerves. She had known it was time. But it didn't make life any easier. It didn't make the choice any easier.

"Things always change, Jack. They can't stay the same forever. And now things are gonna start changing faster. You gotta be ready for that. I know you are. Do you?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. I love you, you know. I really do love you. I just always want you near. I always want to be with you."

"I know, Jack. And you will be. In here," he had whispered as he covered her heart with his hand.

"I know, Riddick. But it's not the same." She had lost the battle against the tears then and sobbed openly, soaking his shirt with the only tokens of her love she had left to give.

"Shhhhhhh, Jack. You've earned this. Worked hard for it. You said you wanted me to be proud of you. Well look at me. I am. And this last step will cement that forever. Just one more step. It's all I can ask."

Jack pulled herself together finally and made her decision. If she hurried, she would have time to do it before her shift started. Excitement warred with apprehension as she gathered her gear, including the address off the box the boots had arrived in, and made her way across the campus. The cold wind bit at her, trying to steal what little warmth she possessed. Her hands felt like ice and she was swamped with another memory of Riddick warming her hands. She always forgot her gloves when she was excited or in a hurry. Before the memory could turn bitter and harsh, the postal station came into view and she hurried inside. Some momentary discussing with the clerk about what she wanted and he lead her to a private room. He briefly gave her some final directions before excusing himself and leaving her alone.

She stared at the camera in front of her and then pressed the appropriate code into the console. When the red light in front of her turned green she cleared her throat and began to speak.

"Hi, Riddick. It's me. Well obviously."

She dropped her gaze down in her lap for a few moments and laughed nervously. Her eyes squeezed shut forming a temporary dam against more tears and she took a deep breath. Feeling more relaxed, she looked up at the camera again and pressed forward with her mission.

"I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, Riddick. And I wanted to thank you for my present. They're nice and warm. But then you always were thinking about me, weren't you? I miss you so much. I wish I could be with you, wherever you are. I…"

Her voice cracked and she had to choke back a sob. She sniffed softly and looked back up with glistening eyes.

"I love you, Dad. And I just wanted you to know that no matter what, I'm thinking about you. You were right about it being time for things to change. I don't like it. But then again I never much liked anything you said you did 'For my own good.' I'm gonna make you proud of me, Dad. You're the best father I could have hoped for. I know that you don't think so. But I believe it enough for the both of us. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't done such a good job raising me. I'm grateful. For everything you risked, everything you gave up, every sacrifice you made for me. And that will never change. That or how much you mean to me."

Silent tears streaked her face as she spoke and her voice trembled just slightly. When she became aware of them, she scrubbed the offending moisture from her cheeks with the sleeve of her uniform. She swallowed thickly and forced a smile. Trembling fingers fumbled with her backpack and she clenched her hands into fists before withdrawing a slip of paper and holding it up for the camera to scan.

"All A's, Riddick. Even in history. Although my professor doesn't explain it nearly as well as you do."

Her eyes looked deep into the lens in front of her, finally and she whispered her last words.

"Merry Christmas, Dad. And I'll see you in the New Year. I promise. I love you. Bye."

The Song

Winter
Performed by Tori Amos

Snow can wait
I forgot my mittens
Wipe my nose
Get my new boots on
I get a little warm in my heart
When I think of winter
I put my hand in my father's glove

I run off where the DRIFTS GET DEEPER
Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown
I hear a voice
"You must learn to stand up for yourself
Cause I can't always be around"

He says when you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna CHANGE so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Boys get discovered as winter MELTS
Flowers competing for the sun
Years go by and I'm here still waiting
Withering where some snowman was
Mirror mirror where's the crystal palace
But I only can see myself
SKATING around the truth who I am
But I know dad the ice is getting thin

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna CHANGE so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Hair is grey and the fires are burning
So many dreams on the shelf
You say I wanted you to be PROUD of me
I always wanted that myself

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the WHITE HORSES have gone ahead
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Never change

All the white horses